Friday, April 20, 2007

First Shopping Trip

Ella and I had our first shopping outing together on Thursday. It was just the two of us, and we had a great time. We had the whole day together because Elijah was in Plano with Gavin's parents, so I decided it would be a great time to venture out on our own without any chaparones (don't misunderstand - I love the help and company, but my independence really needed to be practiced at this point!)
So, what better place to have a first shopping trip than Target. It has always been one of my favorite stores, and I have spent many, many entertaining hours with great friends there, and I felt like I needed to share that with Ella. Like usual, it was a very pleasant and relaxing time and I'm looking forward to many more trips like that in the future. (And just in case Elijah is reading this - I absolutely love going to Target with him too. We have had many wonderful and fun hours together there - you just can't beat a good hot pretzel and lemonade!)

Another great part of the outing was the first real use of my Hot Sling! It kind of makes me feel like a kangaroo, but it is so awesome to carry Ella so close to me and so comfortably, and have complete freedom with both my hands. Plus, this allows me to not have to carry in and deal with her carseat carrier. It is the greatest thing ever!

I Need to Move On

I realized something major last week during my nightly routine of sitting on the edge of Elijah's bed while he drifts off to sleep. It was an emotional time anyway because I was also sitting there holding little 5 day old Ella in my arms. But it just hit me like a bolt of lightning - my baby was no longer my baby. As I sat there staring at his adorable profile against his pillow and surrounded by about 25 stuffed animals, I realized that the new baby I was holding was a replacement baby. Of course, not in the sense that one child could ever replace another, but in the sense that Ella is now the "baby" and Elijah is now the "big brother." This realization made me very sad and made me feel like I had to say goodbye to a certain part of Elijah that I was not ready to say goodbye to. So, I was at this point an emotional mess sitting in his dark room, trying not to wake him up with the sound of sniffing and wiping snot.
And then, I was led to a second realization - that I had prevented him from moving on and joining in the normal activities of his peers - namely preschool and potty training. So the emotional blubbering just intensified as I laid this massive guilt trip on myself. At some point I finally pulled myself together enough so that I wouldn't look quite so pathetic when I re-amerged. I decided that I would have to call upon Gavin to keep me accountable in order to allow myself and Elijah to move on to bigger and better things like big boy underwear and being in the care of strangers for a day or two a week.
I've never thought of myself as over-protective, but I'm starting to realize that the first day of kindergarten might really be hell for me. Maybe my main concern should be that he's out of diapers by then.

Just some cute pics of Gavin and Elijah

Some Scenes from the Hospital 4/5 - 4/6

Thursday, April 19, 2007

Ella Grace

I can't believe I'm just now putting a picture of Ella on here since she is already two weeks old. For those who haven't seen her, here she is! She was born Thursday April 5 at 9:36 am. I cannot express how thankful and excited we are that she is finally with us. It's overwhelming!

I am also so thankful that she is a constant reminder to us of our little Eveyn. She resembles Eveyn so much, but at the same time she is definitely her own little person. What a blessing to have been given a gift like this after saying goodbye to Eveyn just one year ago. Our gratefulness is inexpressible!
I will be posting more very soon!