Thursday, January 25, 2007

Eli Kisses

This is the face I get to see several times a day. How could you ever resist those lips? Today he was extra sweet with me, snuggling up with me while we had lunch with a friend and saying, "I love you mommy". At one point he leaned over to me with these lips you see here and said, "kiss me, mommy." Another one of my favorites that I actually hear several times a day is, "I want to be with you, mommy." I can't complain - he just melts your heart.

Thursday, January 18, 2007


Elijah's two new phrases that he uses crack me up. He says, actually and by the way. The crazy thing is that he uses them correctly in his sentences. For instance, he may say, "actually, mommy, I want juice, not milk." Or the other day he told me, "by the way, mommy, Nemo was on tv today." He never stops amazing me with his vocabulary and sentence structure. I think he may have better grammar than I do.


Amazingly, we have been hit with some winter weather. Gavin got to stay home from work so we had some fun play time in the snow. We made a teeny-tiny snowman that Elijah thought was awesome, but I think his favorite part of the snow was eating it. He was kind of like a little cow just grazing through the back yard trying the snow from each area. It was very exciting, and we were happy to have daddy home to share it with us.

Monday, January 15, 2007

Eveyn and Ella

Just writing the title of this post gives me very bitter-sweet feelings. I've never put our two daughters together like that, or really thought of them as sisters together. It's so overwhelming to think of - if we had Eveyn here with us, would we have Ella now? Or is Ella purely the result of us losing Eveyn? Would they have ever been sisters here on this earth in God's plan? It's unbelieveable how many questions go through my mind on a daily basis. I never stop thinking about all of my children and their relationship to one another and to Gavin and me. It's amazing and a wonder to think about.
During this past week, we have gotten down all of Eveyn's things from the attic that she never got to use - bedding, clothes, carseat, toys, etc. We are beginning to prepare now for Ella's arrival in early April. I am now re-washing all of the clothes that were meant for Eveyn, but now her little sister will use. And we are now re-teaching Elijah what it's going to mean to have a little sister in his house.
I thought I would be more sad than I have been as I go through this whole process, but it's more of a feeling of awe and wonder. I can't really describe it very well. But I have realized what a gift Eveyn has been to her sister Ella. She has provided Ella with so many things - beyond the clothes and toys. Because of what we've experienced as a family in the last nine months since losing our daughter and sister, Ella will be so much more enriched by it. As a family, we have experienced so much love, grace and peace from God that we never would have been able to come in contact with on the same level as we have now. I know that we have such an unquenchable appreciation and desire for our relationship with God and the people in our lives that we didn't have before. And now we will be able to share this with Ella. All because of Eveyn and our life experience with her. She is an incredibly special little girl, and I am so thankful to have her influence in our lives.

I'm Back

I know I have received many comments from people stating that I haven't put anything on my blog in sooooo long. I realize this - thank you for telling me. I don't want to sound harsh, but it's been tough for me to write when so many things are on my mind at once. I am completely enthralled by Elijah and all of the new things he does and funny things he says, and I would love to be able to share every single one of them with everyone. I am also still very much in the process of sorting through all of the multitude of feelings and emotions of not having Eveyn here with us, while also anticipating the birth of Ella in just a couple of short months. So, my mind has been a little jammed up, which makes is difficult for me to convey any of my thoughts to anyone other than God. Thankfully, he understands me even when I don't quite understand myself.
However, now that I am through the Thanksgiving/Christmas season - which proved to be much harder than I anticipated - I am moving toward a more peaceful state of mind and heart. (It has been a long couple of months). My emotions aren't rumbling up quite so much and my head is much clearer now that the rediculousness of the holidays are over.
All this to say, I plan on writing much more entries much more frequently now that I have had some time off.