Back on Schedule

Elijah and I had a rough day yesterday. Just when you think you have these kids figured out and in a routine and schedule, they change. I've heard it before, but I just realized last night that this applies to me and my own child as well.
Elijah is almost 9 months old. Which means he is extremely curious, active and mobile. What this means for me is that after about 5 minutes, he's bored with eating. He wants to do everything else but eat. Emotionally, I have had a very difficult time with this because over the last few months we have been in the process of switching him to formula in order to give him more calories than I apparently could through nursing, monthly weigh-ins at the doctor and ultimately trying to catch his weight back up to where it "should" be on the stupid percentile chart. (I have come to hate that chart and the word "percentile"). I have become so obsessed with his weight and making sure he's healthy that I have neglected the all-important schedule that has been so vital to me, and I have let Elijah take control. My common-sense and my child-development knowledge tell me that I can't let him take an hour to finish his bottle by taking a couple of ounces at time when he decides he wants it. But my emotions have been telling me that his nutrition is more important. So I hit a mental wall yesterday, put him on the couch and walked away in frustration. He then fell off the couch face first. I was pretty guilt-ridden the rest of the day. And now he has a carpet burn on his nose that is a constant reminder of my loss of control.
I know what I've been doing is not in the best interest of Elijah or our family in the long-run. But I was having a really hard time getting over this mental hurdle - until last night.
Sometimes you just need to hear it from someone else. And last night I heard it from a mom of three and a pediatrician. Good sources!
Here's what made it click for me:
Number one - being told that I'm not alone in this struggle.
Number two - I'm not a bad mom for letting my son fall off the couch.
And number three - I was treating him the same way a parent might treat an older sibling when the new baby comes home. You neglect the older one because you are paying so much attention to the baby. So in turn, you let the older child get away with things that you normally wouldn't because you feel bad about the fact that they're not getting the attention that they're used to. I was letting Elijah get away with making his own rules and schedule because I ultimately felt bad that I had failed him in his nutritional needs.
So, I got over it. I'm a good mom. Elijah is a healthy boy. And I'm back in control.