Transformation

I'm not sure what has taken place in Elijah's little head, but he has gone through a bit of a transformation over the past few months. I'm not sure if it's delayed stress/anxiety over Ella being here, or if he's just ready to be in a school environment with more structure, or if he's going through some weird developmental changes. What I do know is that he seems to have developed this alter-ego thing that comes out every once in a while. Half the time I'm talking to him it's as if he's gone deaf. The other half of the time he looks at me with this mad-man look, crosses his arms and outright defies me. Or he just cries and says that he's so sad. It's almost like he's going through weird emotional hormonal changes which I wasn't really expecting to have to deal with for at least 8 more years or so.
So, I'm curious. I've never really done this, but I'm looking for some feedback and opinions from blog-land out there. He's certainly not out of control or having serious issues with his behavior, and I definitely don't feel like we need a housecall from Nanny 911. I'm just curious about other mom's experiences. So let me know what you think.
It's probably just my first sign of him becoming more and more independent in thought and action. I know he's probably just doing that toddler testing game most of the time, but my job all of a sudden got a lot harder since he expects a logical (in his toddler mind) explanation for every single thing that I tell him to do or not do. And then he'll try to reason with me and explain things his way. I guess I should be thakful that he has such an active and intelligent mind, but to answer his own question to me, "mommy, am I wearing you out?" Yes.

Great Quotes from Elijah Winston

"Can you carry me? I think I broke my leg.

"But, mommy, you're not listening to me very well."

"Can you stop singing that? It's annoying me."

"I call you mom and I call your husband dad."

"I'm not Tony Romo, I'm just a boy named Elijah."

"I'm kind of sad that Jesus had to die and our baby Eveyn. But we'll see them both tomorrow."

????

Well, I'm not real sure what we've gotten ourselves into, but I think we're about to get ourselves out of it.

Tonight was Elijah's first t-ball practice. This was something we were looking forward to and excited about, but during practice and the few hours following, our opinions changed. After putting the kids to bed, I came to Gavin and told him that I couldn't shake the feeling that I had made a mistake signing Elijah up for t-ball, and Gavin told me that he too was having issues with the whole idea. So, after discussing it tonight, I will be calling the city rec department to see about a refund. And just to clarify before explaining it further, there was no "incident" that occurred, and Elijah had a great time.

So, here's the deal. I would say three things really struck me tonight as I watched my son participate in his first organized sports team.

1. My son, who just turned 3 a couple of weeks ago and still hasn't figured out potty-training, is being "coached" on how to be a good baseball player - I mean really, he's still in diapers! It seems absured to be trying to figure out baseball fundamentals.
2. There were three kids having tantrums because they were already worn out and confused beyond belief 30 minutes into it and they didn't want to play anymore. But of course, they were not given any relief, only made to pointlessly push through their exhaustion. Again, seriously, we're talking about three year olds.
3. I didn't start playing basketball until I was ten years old, and I didn't even start learning actual fundamentals until eleven or twelve years old. But I still had plenty of time to develop those skills as much as I wanted to and have many enjoyable years of playing and learning.

I was just so struck tonight at the rush to competitiveness and skill (I was shocked to listen to a grandfather be so hard on his grandson and then apologize to the coach that this little boy didn't do as well as he should have - so very sad). There is no doubt that Elijah loves any and all sports, and he has a natural ability with most of it. I think he'll be playing some type of sport for most of his life - but is it really necessary to get him on that strict, competitive road now? Again - he's THREE! He is perfectly happy playing his own brand of baseball of having Gavin pitch to him, knocking the ball across the yard, running his bases and then tackling his dad. Instead of having a "coach" perfect his grip, trying to learn how to hit off of a t-ball stand (because he's used to being pitched to - isn't this a step backwards?), and then having ten grown men yelling at him in order to "guide" him around the bases. And then they don't even keep score! Talk about confusing!

So, the current consensus in our family - organized sports when Elijah decides for himself that he wants to and is ready to participate, not when his parent's (mom) decide for him that it would be fun and good for him. It's just another example of making him grow up too fast. I know that he has so many years in front of him to be involved in the craziness of team sports, and I don't want to someday look back on these few years of freedom, creativity, and imagination with regret that I didn't allow him to keep it and live through it with as much individuality as possible.

Smells

I just put Ella to bed a little bit ago, and I caught a whiff of dried slobber coming off of my shoulder. I turned my nose closer and pulled that part of my shirt up to take in a big sniff and told myself that I don't ever want to forget that smell. She just has the sweetest smell to her breath and drool! It's kind of like puppy breath, but better. I also realized that there are several other smells that I hope I never forget.
I love the smell of Elijah's head and hair. Even when it's dirty, it just has this distinctive "Elijah" smell that I could breathe in all day (although he let me know he was done with my cuddling the other day by telling me that superheros don't cuddle - who would've known!). Amazingly, I also hope I always remember how his faithful blanket smells. It has this dirty, musty smell that tells you that it has been everywhere Elijah has been over the last couple of years - even after it's been washed. I already have plans to adopt this much-loved blanket once (if) Elijah ever decides he's done with it. It's a pretty special blanket.
I can also remember the way Eveyn smelled. It may seem kind of strange for me to describe it, but it's what it is. She really had the very distinctive smell of a newborn baby that was never really given a bath. She never really got clean, so she had a somewhat strong, and a little bit sweet smell to her. I still love it and can still even smell it when I see her pictures and open the little box I have of her hospital items. A couple of weeks after she was born, I walked past a flowerbed that had been newly mulched/fertalized and strangely, it smelled just like Eveyn. Weird - but it makes me thankful that I might get to smell her again someday while walking past a flowerbed!
I don't know if other people are this way, but I depend very heavily on my sense of smell. It seems like almost everything I smell either reminds me of something, takes me back to another time in my life, or makes me hopeful of something to come. I think I could do without my sight or hearing, but if I couldn't bury my nose in Ella's neck, Elijah's head or Gavin's chest, I think I would lose a vital connection to them. It's an amazing thing to think about - what a cool thing God has given us to enjoy!